Days 2, 3, and 4 -- The begining of our trip to Greece

Sunday - Athens:

We all woke up early and had a nice breakfast, included with our rooms. Delicious melon, rolls, eggs, halavah.

Andrea and Zachary are still sick so Ari, Joshua, and I went to the flea market, and the Zeus's temple leaving them asleep in the hotel. After lunch we returned to find them asleep, so we went back out to see the Roman Agora and assorted ruins.

The kids were endlessly fascinated by the communal cats and dogs everywhere. People leave water and food out for them; we've even seen a lady take a bag of cat food out of her purse to feed a stray begging at an outdoor cafe. The temple of Zeus had a half dozen cats, a few dogs, and a couple of large turtles, cared for by staff.

After lunch, and frozen Greek yogurt that was by far the best froyo I've ever had, we all went to the Acropolis. I wasn't going to have any, but Joshua wanted to try it. He almost backed out when they only had one flavor, "yogurt" but one taste (which I heavily encouraged him to take) changed that. Andrea made the steep climb to the top, saw the Parthenon, and retired to the hotel while I took the kids to dinner.

I did a lot of research on where to have dinner using Google, our guide book, and Tripadvisor, finally settling on a place three blocks North and four blocks West of our hotel. I walked up the three blocks and turned the corner and the neighborhood went from urban graffiti to scary. I lived in Flatbush and this was as gritty as anything there. We walked about 6 blocks looking for the place before I decided to turn around and head back to the main street. On the way back I looked around a corner into an alley and saw a couple of guys cooking heroin. We ate an uninspired Greek meal in the touristy Palaka, but we got home safe.

Monday:

Kosmos rent a car dropped off a car at our hotel and we drove to Napflion, a picturesque town that was the first capital of Greece. The kids loved it. We wandered up and down the streets, ate at great restaurants, and bought a few souvenirs.

Tuesday

This was the best day yet. We started by driving to Epidaurus where there is a remarkably well preserved amphitheater that seats 14,000. Andrea, Joshua, and Zachary all sang (in English, Japanese, and Chinese respectively). We looked at the medical instruments and Andrea was appalled at how they did things. I suggested that in 100 years SSRIs will be viewed in the same way. "Imagine just slowing serotonin re-uptake in the whole brain and hoping that it helps more than hurts," I imagine a future neurologist saying in a tone somewhere between bewildered and shocked.

From Epidaurus we drove to Delphi, so I spent about seven hours driving today. On the way we read the story of Kleobus and Biton from our guidebook, which summed it up as "This story is one of a number of Greek tales which show that death is a small price to pay for immortal glory." Greek drivers have taken this lesson to heart. All traffic rules are taken as suggestions. They breeze through stop signs and pause at red lights. I did a rolling stop at a stop sign at the beginning of our trip and the driver behind me honked with annoyance. They pass in no passing zones even though the main highway is one lane in each direction and a shoulder that everyone uses. It was like driving in a movie, dodging oncoming traffic at 120 kph. Andrea recorded a few minutes of video just for fun.

Day 5 -- Delphi

From the vantage point of the next morning all of yesterday seems to be nothing compared to a single hour on the road. We were barreling along a Greek highway at 130 kph when the car began to make a horrible sound. I pulled over onto the shoulder, verified that we had a flat tire, listened to Andrea and Joshua beg me to get help instead of trying to change the tire myself, called the rental company, called roadside assistance, and pulled out my kindle.

Five minutes and three interruptions from the kids later, Andrea who has the patience of a saint with our children but none for anything else (as if the children have used it all up), was at the back of the car with tools trying to get the spare detached from the underside of the car. I changed the tire with trucks whizzing past. Andrea called and cancelled road service.

When we got back to the hotel at 7PM, the car rental company representative wanted me to go get the tire fixed. I told him that I didn't think the tire should be my problem, bargained him down to twenty euros and was done with it.

Much as the day seems to be about a flat now, we actually saw a lot of interesting things in Delphi. The temple where the oracles inhaled gasses released from underground (ethane, methane, and ethylene) and made their prophecies and the famous statues of the phoenix, the twins, and the charioteer.

Delphi was a delightful town, but had horrible restaurants. Andrea and Joshua are really sick of Greek food. I have to admit I was ready for a change myself but we had another meal of salad, tzatziki, and dolmatas. Once we were finally back in Athens we ate at a vegetarian restaurant called Avocado and everyone was happy once again.

Tomorrow we wake up at 6AM to take a ferry to Santorini. and so to bed.

A General Rant About Greeks

Ever since we've been in Greece I've notice two things about the Greeks that I think add up to a real problem. First, the Greeks are really, genuinely nice. When Andrea asked at a restaurant that we had just eaten lunch at where there was a grocery store to buy fruit for the road they took her back to the kitchen and packed a bag of fruit for her. When we asked about a laundromat the woman we asked let us do a load in the hotel's machine. If you look lost, they stop and ask if they can help you navigate.

Second, every Greek person under the age of about 60 seems to speak English fluently. Unlike the French, they're happy to speak English. It's like being in Sweden; as soon as they realize that you're American, sometimes before you even open your mouth, they switch to English.

I was counting on an environment more like Japan, where it helped to try to impress people with the fact that you at least tried to learn their language and sometimes they genuinely needed to communicate in Japanese. How is Ari going to learn any Greek in a country that makes life this pleasant?

Day 6 -- Ferry to Santorini

Andrea had insomnia last night, which she thinks was caused by coffee being one of the ingredients in the delicious almond chocolate cake that she had for desert at Avocado last night. Nonetheless, the alarm went off at 6AM and we hustled to get ourselves and the kids dressed, packed, and down to the van by 6:30 to go to the ferry. We're on the Blue Star ferry now, 8 huge very luxurious floors. The kids are mesmerized by video games and disappointed by the fact that wifi is not free on the ship.

We arrived in Santorini and were met by a local travel agent who gave us a brief introduction to the island, while we were driven to Kamari, where we are staying. We introduced a game to the kids that we hope will keep them engaged. We give points, redeemable for prizes for completing quests like finding out what the dollhouse size churches along the highway are for, how to say crater in Greek, or what is the furthest shop on the beachfront. Six points got them a frozen yogurt.

We ate at our hotel. The kids made their own pasta from dough, at a table set up across the sidewalk from us, under the chef's supervision, while we sat next to the ocean. it was fabulous to have adult time and the kids had a blast. The restaurant treated us to wine and dessert (flan, vanilla ice cream, and lemon sorbet).

Seems like it is my turn to have insomnia tonight.

Day 7 - Sleep Deprived in Paradise

The previous night I tossed and turned, gave up, got out of bed and went to the lobby with my tablet, read the Times, posted on Facebook, read my e-mail. Finally at 2AM Ireturned to bed, tossed and turned for perhaps another hour and finally dozed off only to feel like I'd been run over by a bulldozer when the alarm went off at 7:45.

We ate breakfast at the hotel and set off for an organized tour of the island. We were bussed first to the archaeological site where a Minoan village was buried under 40 feet of volcanic ash in the seventeenth century BC. It was fascinating. Four story buildings, sewage systems, pottery, stores, frescos, all presented by a guide who knew her stuff. She taught the kids about linear A (an as yet undeciphered writing system) and I later challenged Joshua to figure out how Linear B was deciphered. He figured it out in a few minutes with a few leading questions from me.

We also visited a traditional Greek village (but it was a superficial walk-through), a red sand beach, a black sand beach (where we ate lunch), a winery (where we got another superficial walk-through and tasted 3 Santorini wines). Finally, we went Oio (pronounced EE-Oh) where we walked through one of the most picturesque towns ever built, ate a fine Greek meal, watched the sunset, and bought nuts. I also finally managed to buy a replacement memory card for my camera. I loaned Joshua the nicer camera for this trip, which he packed without the memory card, so I took the memory card out of mine and have been without a camera form the second day until now.

There was a Saudi couple on the tour with a 5 year old daughter named Aida who befriended Zachary and Ari. Ari let her draw on his sketchpad. I felt sorry for the little girls. Her mom was covered head to toe in black and would not let Aida go in the water at the beach despite the girl's obvious desire. Andrea offered to supervise, but her offer was firmly declined.

What I'm leaving out of the description is all of the complaining I heard about the lack of diet Fanta, the incredible difficulty of finding a decent place to eat, the fact that the public bathrooms charged 50 cents, the time I paused to look at something and my family kept going and we spent about 20 minutes looking for each other, and the argument about what to order for dinner, possibly making Oio both one of the most beautiful and one of the most miserable couple of hours I ever spent.

By the time that we got back to the hotel at 10:30 only the incredible beauty of my wife was able to keep me awake for a few more minutes. I slept very well that night.

Day 8 - Fira / Thira

Our Room in Old Chania

We slept in until 8:30 (something I sorely needed), packed, checked for left belongings (so far we've lost some over the counter medicine, toothpaste, two toothbrushes, a 4 port USB charger, a sock, and I'm guessing a half dozen things I hanven't figured out yet) and headed to Fira / Thira. We shopped at jewelry stores. Andrea saw an awesome ring for $5,500 dollars. I fainted and came to conciousness only to find that for some reason she had passed on buying the ring. I begged her to reconsider but for some unfathomable reason she wouldn't hear of it.

Our point system is working well, but we keep giving the kids things without charging any points which is going to mess it all up. The kids got a kissing fish massage; 20 minutes of having small fish eat the dead skin cells off of your feet. The amazingly helpfull Greek people, when asked about luggage storage pointed us to a restaurant that let us leave our suitcases behind the counter for free. We ate lunch there and it was delicious. As we ate in the garden I pointed out to the kids that some of the plants around us were eggplant and tomato and Zachary thought it very cool that the restaurant grew its own food.

We were picked up by the travel agent to drive us to the Ferry and were pleased that Aida and her parents got on with us. Zachary played tag in the Ferry terminal with Aida and a grand time was had by all until our ferry (the highspeed 5) arrived. I wonder how Aida parents would have reacted if Ari had been wearing his Camp Gan Israel t-shirt.

After two hours on the ferry we were met by Kosmos car rental and started the long drive to Chania. The roads were better than on the mainland and the drivers seemed less crazy, but it was a dark drive on twisting unlit roads with drivers who were unafraid to pass in no passing zones.

By the time we got to Chania it was 11PM. We checked into out hotel and it is the most beautiful place I

Aida

Andrea in our room

Antique radio in our room

Rooftop garden at our hotel in Chania's old town

have ever stayed. There is a rooftop garden under a grape arbor and beautifully restored antiques everywhere. The rooms have been remodeled with an incredible attention to detail (the only other place I've ever stayed that has been built wtih this level of attention to beauty and design is the pocket house we stayed in in Portland).

Day 9 - Old Chania

We woke up, ate a breakfast served with fresh squeezed orange juice and Andrea went exploring. She came back happy to report that she'd fallen in love with a beautiful town and wanted to go on two snorkelling trips, meaning we'll skip the giant canyon. The first snorkeling trip was today at 2PM.

We spent the rest of the morning walking the town. The kids had quests (to find 5 examples of Venetian, Byzantine, and Ottoman architecture). The town was truly beautiful and pleasant to walk through.

At 2PM we went to sea with captain Evangelos. First we circled an island with a rare mountain goat (only 150 exist, all on this little island) and saw the cree-cree goats from the boat. We then snorkeled in three spots, including over a large troop transport airplane that was shot down in 1941. They served local Orange Juice and fresh fruit on the boat.

We gave the kids more quests, touch the bottom for a point, dive correctly with a snorkel for a point, bring back a rock, a sea shell, and a living thing for a point. We said, as a joke, catch a fish in your hands for 5 points. Ari surprised us by catching a fish. It flopped out of his hands when he brought it to the surface but we were impressed enough to give him the points.

There was a couple on the boat with a 4 year old boy and an 18 month old girl. They'd been living in Athens for two years, but were originally from Tokyo. They were tickled by our ability to speak Japanese and soon Zachary and Makoto were playing Jan Ken Pon.

After our trip I surfed the net for an hour while Andrea explored the jewelry stores and the kids redeemed their points for a trip to Starbucks.

We went to dinner. Found a nice restaurant, sat down, realized how expensive it was and decided we couldn't afford it. We explained to the waiter that we really messed up and would need to leave and he said "Oh no, all the prices on the menu are all for double portions. If you order individually we'll cut the price in half."

After dinner we went walking in Old Chania and I too fell in love with the city. Bustling with people; shopping, eating, drinking, talking... We listened to street musicians playing mandolin, guitar, violin, and a drum shaped like a box that the drummer sat on and got a surprising variety of sounds out of. We visited a Greek book store, ate crepes from a crepe stand, came home and put the kids to bed and Andrea headed back out to get her own fish massage.

Day 10 - Chania Old Towm

Another great breakfast followed by a walk around town. Andrea gave each kid a quest, 5 facts for Joshua, 5 interactions in Greek for Ari, 5 informational signs for Zachary. We saw the agora (central market) and looked for the Hamam Turkish baths but we're disappointed when we found them to see that they were turned into a luxury day spa. I would have been happy with a couple massage if the kids weren't there.

We sat at a seaside restaurant and had drinks. Andrea was shocked when the bill came and each kid's Fanta was about seven dollars. I told her that we were paying for the view.

We went back to the hotel while Andrea shopped for jewelry. When Andrea rejoined is after successfully getting a starfish silver starfish pendant, we took the laundry to Oscar's laundromat and set off toward our car. Upon reaching the car we discovered that keys to said car were in Andrea's other purse. As we returned to the hotel to retrieve the keys we decided that it was so late that we should eat lunch first. n so we picked a restaurant, had a delicious lunch including fennel pie, which all the kids liked, octopus, fava beans, salad, and pumpkin ravioli.

During lunch Andrea and I made a bet, the first one in over twenty years and I lost 50 euros. Turns out that even though sharks have cartilage instead of bone they are still considered to be fish.

After lunch the owner, with whom we had been chatting, treated us to halavas and a bottle of raki (a local drink)  sweetened with honey and cinnamon. I'm not much of a drinker but it was delicious.

Finally we set off for Rethimnos, where we saw the Venetian fortifications, some ottoman mosques, and a fountain from the 1500s. The kids whined about the heat and the amount of walking but we ignored it as much as possible.

The kids cleaned up on points which they used for gelatto. We ate some delicious beef and a chicken dish made with figs for dinner and headed back to Chania.

Tomorrow we are going to leave Chania  and go to Iraklio to see the Archeological museum and Kronos's labrynth.

Day 11 From Chania to Heraklion

Crete

Chania harbor

We woke up and went down to breakfast. This time in addition to telling them not to bring the ham and cheese that we would leave anyway we told them to skip the kids' orange juice. The proprietor asked the kids if they'd like to have chocolate croissants instead. They didn't leave even a single bite for me.

Once packed up we drove the car into Old Town, which is allowed until 10AM. By the time we'd loaded the car or was 10:30 and we had to navigate the tiny streets and drove right along the harbor's edge, dodging numerous pedestrians only to find that the gate out was closed, so we turned around, went back along the water, all the way across the harbor to the far gate. By the time we were on three road to Heraklion it was 11AM.

In the car Andrea explained the new quest; it was a team effort. There were six categories eating utensils, places of worship, clothing, etc. and 6 periods Roman, Ottoman, Byzantine, etc. for a total of 36 points.

When we arrived in Heraklion we spent what seemed like hours navigating narrow one lane roads, several times getting to within a few blocks of the hotel only to be forced the other way. Our GPS was useless since we could not get data at all.  Finally we got to the hotel only to be told that we could park a few blocks away, just go the wrong way on the one way road that already had a line of cars backed up behind me, honking because I was blocking the entire road. I found a parking lot a block ahead and paid 8 euros to park instead of the hotel's 6 euro discount rate.

We went to lunch at a thoroughly forgettable local taverna, which has great rosemary octopus and reasonable grilled chicken and then explored the city. We visited the archaeological museum and saw  the disk of phaestos and other assorted relics. The kids picked up points for Byzantine and Ottoman places of worship,  among other things amassing 12 points which was redeemed for Chillbox frozen yogurt, a fro yo shop whose gimmick is to put the cup in a fancy box.

After some downtime at our hotel we went to dinner at tripadvisor's top rated restaurant in Heraklion, which lived up to it's billing. We dined on a large terrace shade with beautiful vines with large orange flowers, under the shade of a tree. Toward the end of dinner a lemon feel from the tree and landed about five feet from our table. Suddenly, we spotted dozens of lemons in the tree. The proprietor lifted Zachary up to pick one. We are spaghetti,  grilled Dorado, chicken with basil and cheese, grilled vegetables, M

After dinner we strolled back to the hotel and on the way we stopped for a free concert and art show in a church on Lion Square.

We never made it to Knosos, but we'll get there tomorrow. IMNSHO one of our better days in Greece.

altese salad, fried potatoes, and cute little olives that everyone loved, even Andrea who normally hates olives.

Day 12 - Knosos and the Labrynth

Breakfast was notable mostly because the centerpieces on the tables were olive branches in vases, some with olives still attached. As soon as we had eaten we packed up and headed for Knossos. The kids resumed their quest. Andrea added finding representations of six species of animals and six types of furniture.

We decided to get a guide, but a private tour was really expensive (80 euros) so we waited while they tried to round up 8 English speakers. It took half an hour out so. I told my children that after the tour there would be questions for bonus points based on what the guide had told us.

The Minoans had built quite a castle for their kings. 1,200 rooms with fresh water piped in via clay pipes from a spring on a neighboring

The kids picked up a dozen points including one for knowing that the word labyrinth comes from labrys, the sacred double headed axe symbol of the Minoans.

We headed for the airport, returned the car, checked in, went through security where they confiscated one of Andrea's hair products which I had at some point thrown into the laundry bag that we were now using as the carry on. Andrea was mighty pissed off with me.

A very short flight to Rhodes later, we were met at the airport by a travel agent who stuffed us into two taxis. On the road to the hotel Joshua video chatted with his brothers who were in the other taxi on his Nintendo DS.

We checked into Cava d' Oro, a boutique hotel right in the old city themed with coats of arms of the knights who ruled here for centuries. Our room is small, very small but the wi-fi is blazingly fast.

We walked through the streets full of souvenir shops to the castle but the exhibits closed at three and Ari was blowing a gasket over the fact that we wouldn't give him a point for the fake swords he saw in the souvenir stands, which he claimed counted as twentieth century weapons so we decided to defer the castle and go straight to dinner. We ate at a very pretty restaurant, which had a somewhat more innovative approach to Greek cuisine than most. We had a salad with beans, spearmint, leeks, cheese balls, and a bunch of green vegies, a wide assortment of breads, fish, chicken, chick pea croquettes with a cheese and red pepper sauce, cheese pies, and dolmatas. We congratulated ourselves on learning to order for the table instead of for each person; two or three entres and a few appetizers because the portions are always enormous, wasting food is awful, we get to try more things, and it is a bit more affordable.

At the end of the meal, they brought out panna cotta for the adults and cotton candy for the kids. I was jealous.

On the stroll home, we stopped to get Zachary a white nutella crepe. While we waited, we chatted with the owner, who, once the crepe was ready, insisted on giving it to Zachary as an early birthday present. Zachary immediately tilted the crepe, coating the front of his shirt, shorts, legs, and sandals with molten white nutella.

We returned to the hotel where Andrea and I sat in the courtyard, ate halavah, and gazed into each others eyes while the kids put themselves to bed. Another day in their happy childhood packages delivered.

mountain, a covered sewage system, and a rainwater drainage system. They had beautiful art, workshops for stonework where they cut imported basalt (from the mainland) with bronze saws and a potter's shop with pottery wheels and a school bench since writing was done in clay. The Minoans even traded with the Egyptians and their influence was clear in the art and customs.

Day 13 - Valley of the Butterflies (that are actually moths)

On the description of our car rental for today, the travel agent wrote "NOT A MINIVAN." When it was delivered, I saw that she was right. I could have started a bus line with the behemoth that would comfortably seat 9 and accommodate their luggage for a 3 week trip.

I drove the tank, first to the valley of butterflies, where the fragrant sap of a tree that is used to make vanilla incense attracts thousands of moths. We walked 3.2 km up the valley, though I lagged behind my family as I tried to take some photos. The walk was beautiful, along a small river with waterfalls. We saw crabs hiding in the rapid easing for food to float by.

After the valley, we headed to what was billed as a traditional Greek village but actually end up being a small town without much of interest. We ate at a small taverna and completely blew our theory on how well we'd learned to order. We ordered a couple of entrees and appetizers and as soon as they started coming it was clear that we'd made some mistakes. The plate of dolmatas must have had thirty pieces instead of the six we expected. the "grilled vegetables" was a plate of battered and fried veggies that would have been an entree anywhere else. The tsatsiki came in a huge bowl. The stefados came last and was too delicious to leave. I ate a 3,000 calorie lunch.

After lunch we headed to ancient Kamiros to see Aphrodite's temple. Andrea, not used to that large a lunch passed out on the trip. Fortunately the car was big enough that she could lie down in the front seat next to me. Unfortunately, she was my navigation system. When she woke up we'd gone 15 miles down a road with hairpin turns that was not pointed where we were headed.

Once in Kamiros, we saw the ruins and temple, which was less impressive than most we had seen but allowed the kids to pick up a few points more points.

Back in town, we went to another Greek restaurant, got crepes at our favorite crepe stand (where the proprietor took 2.90 instead of 3 euros when I couldn't quite come up with exact change), and headed off to bed. As Andrea and I lay in bed, we thought about the next two weeks apart. It will be the longest time we've been separated since Joshua was born. Since we've been married we have only been separated this long twice. It is going to be very difficult for me.

A few more notes about Greece:

A friend pointed out that despite the animals everywhere the streets are clean. When I mentioned this to my family the kids took it as a challenge and have managed to find a couple of messes, though still nothing like the number you would expect given the number of animals. We can add to that observation that we've seen almost no litter and few garbage cans. Clearly, there is an invisible ultra efficient army of street sweepers or Zeus and his family magic it all away.

Day 14 -- Abandoned by the Wife

In the morning we went to the museum and the castle that was the house of the Grand Master (and the administrative headquarters of the city) from the days when the knights ruled Rhodes. The children picked up points for weapons, writing, and eating utensils. Unfortunately, the Ottoman and Byzantine exhibits were under rennovation and the kids came up short on their quest.

I suggested to Andrea, within earshot of the kids, that perhaps if their behavior was good we could consider a consolation prize. Andrea, once we were out of the kids hearing range suggested that another year of feeding them would be a good enough consolation prize.

We decided to explore the newer part of Rhodes City and passed a "fast food Chinese" restaurant which had an odd combination of burgers and Chinese food. Andrea was unwilling to risk the Greek fast food version of Chinese so we ate traditional Greek food at a place that also offered pizza for the kids.

After lunch we returned to the hotel and saw Andrea, Joshua, and Zachary off. Ari was amazingly sad to see them go. I hate to admit it but he may miss the family more than I will.

Ari has decided that he'd like to be a game designer for Nintendo when he is an adult. I've told him that if he learns the basics of programming with me I'll get him the tools and a teacher who really knows game design so that he can build real games. So, after everyone else had left we sat down and worked on programming lessons. I have Php, MySQL, some code editors, and a webserver installed on my tablet, so we have an environment to work in. We started with a very basic game where we choose a number from one to 10 and the computer tries to guess our number. It let us cover input, output, basic syntax, and the random number function in half an hour.

After our programming Ari played video games while I caught up on e-mail and Facebook. While I was on the net I looked for dinner, searching for anything with one or two dollar signs that was not Greek cuisine. I got one result SaSaZu, a restaurant whose menu included Thai Papaya salad, Sambal, Roti, and dozens of other mouthwatering dishes. I showed Ari and we set out in search of the place.

We got lost, but a helpful man at exotic car rentals helped us out, ignoring his customers for a while and finally figuring out that the restaurant was in the Rhodes casino. In we went. When we inquired at reception they told us that it had been closed for a year and had been replaced by a Greek restaurant. Ari and I were both so disappointed that I'm surprised Rhodes wasn't lost in a sea of tears.

I explained to the kind reception person that we wanted something that was not Greek and she told us that there was one Asian place, a noodle shop, not too far away and gave us a map on which she drew directions with a pen. Map in hand we set off to find food that was not Greek.

A short walk later we found ourselves in front of "fast food Chinese." In we went. Ari and I shared a chicken in garlic sauce (spicy), rice, and a salad. I can't explain how something could be categorized as among the worst Chinese food I've ever had and simultaneously be among the most enjoyable, but it was. Ari was beaming. At 12 euros for the two of us it was also the cheapest meal we've eaten in Greece.

After dinner we returned to our favorite crepe stand, where I helped the proprietor open for the evening, putting out tables and chairs. We had crepes that couldn't be beat, left a huge tip (at least relative to the cost of a crepe), and headed back to the hotel for showers and a very early night.

I was dis

I set the alarm for 6:30 because our taxi (arranged by fell the travel agent) to the port arrives at 7:00AM and fell asleep at about 9:30 only to wake up around midnight and spend several hours of quality time with my tablet on Facebook and the New York Times.

pleased to discover that the kids had lost the cap to my tube of toothpaste, which I loaned them to replace the tube that they had lost. I had been sharing Andrea's but she took that with her so now I'll need to find a new one on Kalymnos.

Day 15 -- On Our Own

Woke at 6:30 feeling fine. brushed teeth, packed up and waited for the cab which showed up promptly at 6:55. The driver checked our tickets, our taxi voucher, loaded up our luggage, and drove us to the ship. The drive took less than 5 minutes. We could have walked it in 10. Now we had an hour and a half to kill, no breakfast, no coffee. I was not happy but Ari and I talked about the effectiveness of castle walls, why sieges worked, learning Greek, what Kalymnos will be like, and the time flew by.

The ferry to Kalymnos is a small local boat called the Dodecanese Pride. It is fast but makes several stops. From booking the tickets from Kalymnos to Athens I learned that I should have flown. Ari flies at half price because of his age and the inter-island fares are cheap. Ari and I are flying back to Athens for about $80 each. The two ferry tickets to Kalymnos were about $50 each, so I bet I could have saved half a day by flying and paid virtually the same price.

On the ferry they broadcast a Greek Orthodox Sunday service and I was struck by how much more similar it seemed to a Orthodox Jewish service than other Christian services; a lot of chanted prayer by men standing around, vestments that looked like they grew out of tallitim, no mehitsa but women in a group away from the men.

Ari and I both got a little seasick on the trip out, nothing bad just some queasiness. We soon recovered and read, played computer games, and even got a short programming lesson in. I'm afraid it was not my most shining moment as a teacher; I assumed knowledge of HTML that Ari didn't have and lost him. Instead of working through it, he gave up and I decided to let it drop for the time being and come back to it later.

We arrived in Kalymnos and were met by Elleni and Yannis, a charming couple. She teaches Greek language and literature at the local high school so I have judged her qualified to teach Ari a few more words and he is a civil engineer. They drove us to their house where we'll be staying the next two weeks. It is stunningly beautiful with views of the sea and the mountains. Ari, who is hour most socially adept child, immediately befriended the children Vasilis and Ireni, who to my delight speak mostly Greek. They played soccer, foosball, hide and seek, tag, jump over the ball, etc. while I wrote this.

They have goats, chickens, dogs, and cats. Ari is enjoying this.

Later in the afternoon Ari and I walked down to the local beach and had a late lunch. His left sandal completely fell apart so we had a slow walk back. We discovered that there is a restaurant that serves Chinese, Mexican, and Greek cuisine near the beach  which I can't wait to try it.

Ari went out with Vasilis to a friend's house but I insisted that he make the visit short so that he could get to bed at a reasonable hour but when it was time to go to bed Ari9 discovered ants in the bedroom and freaked out. Our hosts came up and sprayed, but Ari was so upset that he slept in the living room.

A note on Hungarians:

Until now I had trouble understanding some aspects of Hungarian language, culture, and thought. For example, in Hungarian the word for watermelon is Görög digne, literally Greek melon. I never understood where that came from, but when I arrived here my hosts showed me that they had a watermelon waiting in the refrigerator for us and thinking back to all of the Greek meals where they brought out watermelon at the end and the pickup trucks selling watermelon by the side of the road, I have concluded that maybe not everything Hungarian is designed only to confuse me. Watermelon is truly the Greek melon.

Day 16 -- A Lazy Day

Woke up at 5:40 to the sounds of chirping birds, cockadoodledooing roosters, bleating goats, and barking dogs or more accurately, woke at 5:40 because of the sounds of chirping birds, cockaddoodledooing roosters, bleating goats, and barking dogs. Ari woke up about 10 minutes later to the sound of... I told him he might as well come into the bedroom and go back to sleep on a real bed. I even offered to wake up with him for the day if he wanted me to. He climbed into the top bunk as I put in earplugs. The next thing I knew it was 7:50. Ari was in the living room playing with his tablet. We got dressed quickly and had a nice breakfast of eggs for me and a grilled ham and cheese for Ari.

The veranda where we ate breakfast

After breakfast we headed for the beach where Ari had a great time jumping in the waves until about one o'clock when we headed back for lunch with everyone, including the other guest family staying here (A children's book illustrator staying with her son).

At lunch I noticed something that I won't mention lest my wife take away my parenting license. As I sat talking to the adults after lunch Ari came running in because we had a Skype call from Andrea, Joshua, and Zachary. It was really nice to see their faces, even if the kids were too rambunctious to allow for a real conversation.

Ari with a view of Kalymnos in front of the house.

I forgot to mention one of the most interesting things from yesterday. Apparently, on Kalymnos it is customary, even though it's illegal, to celebrate with dynamite. Yesterday, we heard explosions echoing of the mountains. Yannis told us there that there had been the deaths and uncounted fingers lost over the last twenty years. Ari has suggested that we rent motorcycles. There are no helmet laws here. There's a reason I chose to put those seeming nonsequitors in a single paragraph.

Day 17 -- A day at the Beach

I woke up in the middle of the night to the sounds of roosters who just came from China and must still be suffering horribly from jet lag. Put in ear plugs and went back to sleep. When I wrote up again it was light and everyone else was at breakfast. Ari was clearly not a fan of the goat's milk rice pudding but was trying to be polite. I quietly took his pudding and ate it.

Eleni asked him what he liked to eat for breakfast and he told her about banana bread. She was quite shocked and a bit horrified. I gave her the recipe. The cloves really threw her for a loop.

Ari and I took Sasha with us on today's adventure.  We went to town and walked the length of it in 15 minutes. It was beautiful but small. Then we went to the beach. The kids swam briefly and we went back home.

We had a bit of screen time and a programming lesson. We finished the guessing game and moved on to battleship, a great game for teaching arrays. Didn't get very far, but we're making progress and Ari's  learned some new concepts.

After programming we headed to the local beach, where the waves are higher because the kids enjoy playing in the waves more than swimming in calm water. I watched Sasha and Ari disappear under the waves, abandoned all hope of reading and stood watching them like a hawk. When they got too far out for comfort I went toward them to tell them to come close to shore and saw just how hard it was to get to them through the waves, so I decided that the only safe thing was to swim with them. We swam in the waves until I was cold and made them get out. By that time Sasha was so cold that he told me his fingers were numb.

Ari and I headed out to dinner at the Chinese, Mexican, Greek restaurant. The Greeks don't do spicy but it was nice to have a change anyway. On the way home from dinner Ari said "Today was a great day."

Ari fell into bed exhausted, or more accurately he fell onto the couch where he has insisted on sleeping since we arrived. I couldn't even rouse him to brush his teeth.

Day 18 -- The Best Laid Plans

We woke up early, ate some sort of Greek egg and filo dough pastry thing for breakfast and Ari started playing with his tablet, on which he has some new game that has become an obsession. I could not pry his eyes from the screen and so we missed the 10AM bus to Myrties from whence we could catch a ferry to the little island the of Telendos, which is supposed to be quaint, quiet and car free. So we went back to the room, played more tablet, worked on programming, and headed out for the 11:20 bus. Ari sent me back, at a run for a forgotten bathing suit. When the bus finally arrived at 11:30 the driver told us he was going out of service before Myrties and to catch the 12:00. Ari sent me back for my tablet and we programmed while we waited. The bus got there at 12:30 and we boarded.

Sadly, we missed the stop at Myrties and went over the mountain to Matsouri. We walked back. By the time we got to Myrties we were hungry so decided to eat before going to the island. I didn't bring a lot of money because we were just going to be on the beach most of the day but I had a credit card and so we selected a place that took Visa. In fact the bottom of each page of the menu said that Visa and MasterCard were accepted. At the end of the meal I tried to use my card. "Sorry, the machine is broken," I was informed. There went 16 of my 17 euros. Not enough left for the ferry.

No problem; I needed an ATM anyway. Where was the closest? Just one town over in Matsouri. So, back we trekked.

Once we had money Ari, who had endured up to then without any complaint, asked if we could sit in a cafe and have a drink instead of trekking back. So, we sat and drank Fanta and iced tea until the bus came and returned home in time for an hour of screen time before Ari's Greek lesson.

Our hostess appears to be a gifted teacher, getting Ari to pay attention and focus on learning. This place is great in other ways too. We have an entire floor with a bedroom, bathroom, full size kitchen, and a living/dining area that is huge. Two verandas stretch around the front and side.  The views are spectacular. Breakfast and cleaning are included, and our hostess interpreted cleaning to include things like doing our laundry on request. A delicious lunch is available on request. We are a five minute walk from the beach. I like the kids that hang around during the day and so does Ari.

After Greek Ari went to the beach with Sasha and his mom. I went to retrieve him an hour later and after he changed Eleni drove us to a restaurant and dropped us off. Ari had pasta that he thought tasted like Joshua's. I had grilled chicken. We were supposed to share but he liked his to much.

Another great day, except for the fact that I got no work done.

What I posted on Facebook on the Missing Day (Day 20)

Being in Greece makes me think, I would love to have been able to listen to the marketing meeting where they discussed a word that evokes a story where you let down your defenses and let something big in, thinking it's a gift and it's safe. Then when you least expect it it let's a bunch of little guys out causing a catastrophe for you. "Yeah," somebody said, "that's just what we need. Let's call our condoms TROJANS." So fascinating that it's giving me insomnia.

Day 19 -- I Did Something Right? What Did I Do Wrong?

Breakfast included the usual two eggs, cheese, the ham that Ari or the dog gets, cheese, bread jam, jam coffee, and today a special pastry filled with cheese. After breakfast, Ari played tablet while I answered work emails, showered, and put away clean laundry.

When we finally got out Eleni, who had heard of our mishaps yesterday and offered to drive us to Myrties was out. We had already missed the bus at 10 so we caught the 11 that goes to Prothia. We ate lunch in town and went to the small archaeological museum. The museum was high on a hill on the edge of the city. It took us far longer to walk there than it took to see the museum.

When we got home Eleni was disappointed not to have given us a ride in the morning. She is planning to drive us places tomorrow and the next day. She made home made ice cream this afternoon which she served right after I ate the rice pudding that Ari left a few days ago. Don't tell my wife that I have cheated on my diet today.

Several times today Ari told me that I won the dad of the year award. I have three theories about what's going on (1) He's actually just happy to have such a great parent (2) He's buttering me up to try to get the cat that he and his brothers have been begging me for or (3) He's so impressed and grateful that I've been so lax with the screen time rules since he's become enthralled with this computer game on his tablet. So either he wants something or it has nothing to do with that and either he likes my parenting because it's good or he likes my parenting because it's bad.

A Note About Greek Insects

The first night we were on Kalymnos we had an insect problem. There were ants on the bedroom floor. Our hosts came and sprayed but Ari refused to sleep in the room. He's been sleeping on the couch ever since, despite the fact that I have not seen an ant in days.

The second night I was sitting outside with the family, the kids, assorted friends of the family, all happily chatting from about 7 until 10 PM. About an hour in someone thought they saw a mosquito. There was much consternation. A citronella scented item was burned. Electronic insect repellants were plugged in case it got inside the house (not that the screenless windows were closed). Ari tried to explain Michigan mosquitoes but I don't think that anyone believed him.

Yesterday I got my first mosquito bite on Kalymnos but it barely itched.

Day 21-- Finally Made it to Telendos

View of Kalymnos from Telyndos

Ari holding up Telyndos

I skipped the travelogue yesterday because my beautiful wife suggested that subjecting everybody to the mundane details of our daily travels and travails might be more than some Facebook friends had bargained for. Instead I posted half witty comments about condoms in a sleepy haze at three AM. Suffice it to say beach, Marine museum, family time, Greek lesson, and taking 5 kids to a pastry shop in a to semi-futile attempt to get them to do something not involving a screen.

After breakfast, after we once again missed the bus, Eleni drove is to Myrties so that we could catch the ferry to Telendos. Ari and I climbed the mountain to the caves. To preserve my title of world's least competent tourist I went prepared for the beach, meaning that I climbed the mountain in sandals and a bathing suit, carrying a beach bag with towels but no water. We got almost to the top when Ari got tired off the bees that were everywhere because the mountainside was covered with bushes with small purple flowers that were in bloom. We turned around and made our way down to the base where we chose a restaurant that Eleni had recommended and had salad, grilled tuna, and one and a half liters of water. We were half way through the water by the time the meal came and we finished it off without a problem.

The purple flowers that the bees loved so much

Part way up to the caves on Telyndos

The view from the restaurant where we ate lunch.

 

Day 22 -- My Son is an Angel

View of Kalymnos from the Monastary

This morning after breakfast, Eleni, Elina, all four kids, and I piled into the car and Eleni drove the seven of us to a monastary high on a hill. I got what looks like a great photo of the bay below. I'll post it when I get home.

We went into the monastary's church, built into a cave on the side of the mountain and Elina lit a candle for her mother's quick recovery. Ari was fascinated by the metal plates (each about two by four inches) with various body parts stamped on them that you could place on a peg to pledge a certain amount to the church conditionally, if the saint cured your (or your loved one's) ailment. Later, when I Skyped with Andrea she laughed because they were so like the small ceramic statues of body parts used to beseech the healing gods at Epidaurus. "3,000 years and it is still the same," she laughed.

Children swimming in the Mediteranean

Eleni had a long exchange in Greek with a woman working there who proceeded to dab holy water on the of foreheads of each child. Eleni explained to me that she told the woman that we did not believe in holy water but the woman insisted that the miracles that followed it's application would make is believe. She then explained to Ari that he must now behave like an angel.

We came home and I took Sasha and Ari to Kantouni beach, which is the kids favorite beach because it has the biggest waves. Ari has become quite the lover of frolicking in the waves. I usually stand on the beach and watch the kids like an eagle because I read an article about the increase in mortality rates from relatively tiny delays in responses by distracted lifeguards. If they go too far out I wade in and if the waves are high enough I go all the way out to where the kids are.

As soon as we got to the beach, as part of my continuing effort to have my father of the year award rebooked before my other children find out that Ari awarded it to me and roast him on a spit over a raging fire, I realized that while I sun-screened Ari in the morning, I didn't bother with the area under his t-shirt. I offered a choice of a short swim or wearing his t-shirt in the water. He chose a short swim and I promised we'd come back after lunch.

Kalymnos Monastary

For lunch we had a vegetable stew with eggplant, zucchini, potato, tomato, and herbs (most of which was grown here), shrimp, goat (also raised here), salad, bread, and watermelon. Sasha doesn't eat goat or shrimp so he got chicken nuggets. Ari ate potato, shrimp, potato, and bread, making his meal consist of perhaps four of the five things not grown by our hosts.

After lunch I talked to Andrea on Skype and Ari had some screentime with Sasha. I took a twenty minute nap and woke up to go listen to Ari's Greek lesson. I'm very proud of both how attentive he is and the amazing progress he's making as a result. In the last few days he's covered past and present tense conjugation and a ton of vocabulary. Eleni is very impressed with his ability to read Greek, which I have learned is far more difficult than it appears. For example, there are for letters and three letter combinations that make the sound "ee."

When the Greek lesson was over it was almost eight o'clock. The family wanted us to come with them to a concert followed by a movie in an open air theater but Ari and Sasha wanted to go back to the beach so, honoring my promise, I took them for a swim.

Shortly after we returned the family did too; they skipped the movie because Vasilis was feeling sick.  Vasilis went to bed while the rest of us sat in the yard and talked. Ari announced that he was hungry. I made peanut butter and jam for myself, Ari, and Sasha.

Aside from Ari and myself nobody had tried peanut butter, so the jar was passed around and declared delicious by everyone. I have promised Eleni a recipe for peanut butter cookies. Eleni served some sort of dessert with three layers that seemed to me similar to a Graham cracker/cream cheese crust, flan, and a very cherry jello.

We sat talking while the kids played chess. once Sasha's mom called him to bed Ari got bored enough to ask me to play. We started playing, but to make it fair, he was not allowed to look at the board; he had to remember the positions and call out his moves. Our hostest was so amazed at this that she began testing Ari's memory, hiding objects and asking him to remember which objects she hid where. This morphed into games of memory (remembering progressively longer lists of animals) and attention (find the killer who winks at other players to kill them).

This week, hanging or with Eleni, Gianis and their friends and family, I've had the joy of experiencing a relaxed sense of community that Andrea and I only had in Risley (and to a lesser extent at 36 Plaza). We often fervently wish we could have that again. I wonder how much of this is possible because of how much more free time I have, because of Ari's amazing  social grace which makes everyone pleased to be with him, because of Greece's amazing xenophilia, and  how much is because I was lucky ending up at Gianis and Eleni's home.

Day 23 -- Kos

At breakfast we discussed our plans for the day. Elina and Sasha were headed for Telyndos and Vasilis was still feeling sick so our hosts suggested we go to another island for the day. I inquired about Ephsos, which Eva highly recommended but it would mean going to another island, changing ferries and would require an overnight stay. They suggested Kos and after a little research we found that we had 15 minutes to catch the ferry.

Ari and I quickly jumped in the car and Gianis drove us to the port and held the boat while I bought tickets. We got to Kos and took a taxi to the water park. In my daily attempt to have my father of the year award revoked I realized that I brought too little money with me. The ferry was 12 euros in each direction, the taxi 8, the water park 17 for me and 13 for Ari, a locker 3. No place took credit cards. I had brought 70 euros, some change, and a credit card which I thought was more than ample. Oops. I announced that lunch had to be someplace that took credit cards.

The park was relatively small compared to Cedar Point or Michigan's Adventure but had plenty to do and was almost empty so there we're no lines to wait in.

Ari frolicked in the water for hours. I went down three big slides with him and I swam a few laps to feel how much muscle mass I've lost since I stopped regular weight lifting.

Copyright Notice and Warning: The following paragraph is likely to offend people who are religious, object to chauvinism (that means you Joshua), have married me, or have a daughter who married me. Those people are prohibited from reading it.  Those who will report, hint at, repeat, or allude to the contents of the following paragraph to my wife are also prohibited from reading it. License to read the following paragraph is given to everyone else provided you immediately forget its contents and never discuss it with anyone else.

The water park was full of beautiful young (well when you're my age they are all young) females in bikinis. There was a time in my life when I would have sat mouth agape, possibly drooling, thanking God for the beauty he had bestowed upon my eyes. However, my glass half empty  wife has pointed out that perhaps it is God's way of torturing me by showing me what I am missing. Given the intense yearning I feel for my wfie, not having been apart from her for this long in well over a decade, and feeling that God must want to make sure I'm not too happy after my post about the paradise I am in yesterday, I was definitely tilting toward the God is torturing me view of the world.

OK: feminists, wives, wives relations, and people who have not yet mentally consigned me to Hell for my misogynistic thoughts may resume reading here.

At 1:30, both of us getting hungry, we headed back to town to find lunch but when we got there a ferry to Kalymnos was about to leave so we jumped on. Arriving back in Kalymnos we were down to 8 euros. We asked unsuccessfully at 7 or 89 restaurants if they'd take a credit card before we gave up and caught the bus back home where Eleni whipped us up some spaghetti Bolognese , bread, and a salad. Food never tasted so good.

After lunch we Skyped with the family, twice. The first time was fun and games but the second upset Ari greatly. I had spent part of the day thinking that I had never seen Ari so happy for such an extended period of time and seeing him reduced to tears was hard to bear.

I calmed him down a bit and the children distracted him with a game of hide and seek which I followed with a walk to the local patiserrie, where we shared baklavas and chocolate cake. Unfortunately, Ari became upset right before his Greek lesson was supposed to start so he missed one of his precious (at least to me) Greek lessons.

Finally, here I sit, exhausted, God toying with me more. To punish me for my gloat filled posts about mosquitoes, he had Ari bitten twice and sent two into my room, allowed me to kill the first and made the second escape from me by inches the last five times I tried to kill it. I may have actually gotten it on the l last go, but more likely he's hiding it to let it buzz my ear right when I am dozing off.

Day 24 -- Last Full Day in Paradise

I slept until a glorious 8:30 this morning and woke up a few minutes before Ari appeared to tell me that my eggs were getting cold.

After breakfast, sunscreening, and changing into bathing suits Eleni drove me, Ari, and Sasha to a beach a little further away than Kantouni. Ari and Sasha played in the waves while I watched them to make sure that they weren't in any trouble and built sandcastles while I watched the bikini clad girls to make sure that they weren't in any trouble. We bought drinks, caught killer ants, played catch and Ari completely soaked his shoes in seawater. Hopefully they will dry because otherwise he's completely trashed three pairs of shoes in one trip and I have no spares and no time to find new ones.

Ari asked if we could go to a taverna for lunch and I explained that we were going to eat with the family.  Much to my surprise, he told me that he really wanted to go because he would miss Greek food and that he wanted me to learn to make it, especially tzatziki and stifado. I think his enthusiasm for Greek food is in part because he has been so happy here that it has intensely good associations for him. I hope that I can help him preserve some of the memories into his adult life.

Eleni picked us up and brought us home for a lunch of lemon garlic chicken, mashed potato, corn, green salad, beet salad, and watermelon. On the drive back, she said that she'd been reading my posts. She wondered why I hadn't mentioned the bikini clad girls in Kos to her yesterday and went on to say that Andrea must really trust me because there was no way that she'd trust her husband for two weeks alone. I pointed out that perhaps it wasn't trust, but a desire to be rid of me that motivated her. I didn't point it out, but perhaps Andrea just realizes that I'm unlikely to be attractive to Greek (or any other) girls.

After lunch Ari did his Greek homework and we worked on battleship. The progress is slow but we've now had the computer place its ships (though we haven't yet made sure that they aren't placed on top of each other).

After battleship it was time for a Greek lesson which was immediately followed by a trip to the beach, the pool, and the beach again with Sasha and Elina. Elina and I sat on the beach and then by the pool watching the kids, enjoying the sunset, and sipping fresh squeezed orange juice.

When we returned home Ari told me again how much he has enjoyed Greece and that he would miss it. These declarations were clearly heartfelt. I  told him that if he continued studying Greek I would find a way to get him to visit again.

Eleni and Giannis made a feast in honor of our departure. Souvlaki, both chicken and pork, cooked outside on the grill, served with pita, tsatsiki, tomato, and potato.  The kids played soccer until the meal was ready. We had music, talked, and ate until we we're stuffed. Eleni gave me the recipe for tsatsiki but couldn't come up with the word for vinegar. She kept saying it came from graves when she meant grapes. We had a good laugh when we figured it out.

Then Eleni brought out dessert, whipped cream with banana on a layer of chocolate, topped with dark chocolate shavings.

Ari went to bed at 11 something but when I followed him in I made him brush his teeth so he was up a bit later. while falling asleep he moaned and said that a mosquito was buzzing around his ear, so I stayed up writing this and guarding him until I killed a mosquito. I hope it is the only one.