What I posted on Facebook on the Missing Day (Day 20)

Being in Greece makes me think, I would love to have been able to listen to the marketing meeting where they discussed a word that evokes a story where you let down your defenses and let something big in, thinking it's a gift and it's safe. Then when you least expect it it let's a bunch of little guys out causing a catastrophe for you. "Yeah," somebody said, "that's just what we need. Let's call our condoms TROJANS." So fascinating that it's giving me insomnia.

Day 19 -- I Did Something Right? What Did I Do Wrong?

Breakfast included the usual two eggs, cheese, the ham that Ari or the dog gets, cheese, bread jam, jam coffee, and today a special pastry filled with cheese. After breakfast, Ari played tablet while I answered work emails, showered, and put away clean laundry.

When we finally got out Eleni, who had heard of our mishaps yesterday and offered to drive us to Myrties was out. We had already missed the bus at 10 so we caught the 11 that goes to Prothia. We ate lunch in town and went to the small archaeological museum. The museum was high on a hill on the edge of the city. It took us far longer to walk there than it took to see the museum.

When we got home Eleni was disappointed not to have given us a ride in the morning. She is planning to drive us places tomorrow and the next day. She made home made ice cream this afternoon which she served right after I ate the rice pudding that Ari left a few days ago. Don't tell my wife that I have cheated on my diet today.

Several times today Ari told me that I won the dad of the year award. I have three theories about what's going on (1) He's actually just happy to have such a great parent (2) He's buttering me up to try to get the cat that he and his brothers have been begging me for or (3) He's so impressed and grateful that I've been so lax with the screen time rules since he's become enthralled with this computer game on his tablet. So either he wants something or it has nothing to do with that and either he likes my parenting because it's good or he likes my parenting because it's bad.

A Note About Greek Insects

The first night we were on Kalymnos we had an insect problem. There were ants on the bedroom floor. Our hosts came and sprayed but Ari refused to sleep in the room. He's been sleeping on the couch ever since, despite the fact that I have not seen an ant in days.

The second night I was sitting outside with the family, the kids, assorted friends of the family, all happily chatting from about 7 until 10 PM. About an hour in someone thought they saw a mosquito. There was much consternation. A citronella scented item was burned. Electronic insect repellants were plugged in case it got inside the house (not that the screenless windows were closed). Ari tried to explain Michigan mosquitoes but I don't think that anyone believed him.

Yesterday I got my first mosquito bite on Kalymnos but it barely itched.

Day 21-- Finally Made it to Telendos

View of Kalymnos from Telyndos

Ari holding up Telyndos

I skipped the travelogue yesterday because my beautiful wife suggested that subjecting everybody to the mundane details of our daily travels and travails might be more than some Facebook friends had bargained for. Instead I posted half witty comments about condoms in a sleepy haze at three AM. Suffice it to say beach, Marine museum, family time, Greek lesson, and taking 5 kids to a pastry shop in a to semi-futile attempt to get them to do something not involving a screen.

After breakfast, after we once again missed the bus, Eleni drove is to Myrties so that we could catch the ferry to Telendos. Ari and I climbed the mountain to the caves. To preserve my title of world's least competent tourist I went prepared for the beach, meaning that I climbed the mountain in sandals and a bathing suit, carrying a beach bag with towels but no water. We got almost to the top when Ari got tired off the bees that were everywhere because the mountainside was covered with bushes with small purple flowers that were in bloom. We turned around and made our way down to the base where we chose a restaurant that Eleni had recommended and had salad, grilled tuna, and one and a half liters of water. We were half way through the water by the time the meal came and we finished it off without a problem.

The purple flowers that the bees loved so much

Part way up to the caves on Telyndos

The view from the restaurant where we ate lunch.

 

Day 22 -- My Son is an Angel

View of Kalymnos from the Monastary

This morning after breakfast, Eleni, Elina, all four kids, and I piled into the car and Eleni drove the seven of us to a monastary high on a hill. I got what looks like a great photo of the bay below. I'll post it when I get home.

We went into the monastary's church, built into a cave on the side of the mountain and Elina lit a candle for her mother's quick recovery. Ari was fascinated by the metal plates (each about two by four inches) with various body parts stamped on them that you could place on a peg to pledge a certain amount to the church conditionally, if the saint cured your (or your loved one's) ailment. Later, when I Skyped with Andrea she laughed because they were so like the small ceramic statues of body parts used to beseech the healing gods at Epidaurus. "3,000 years and it is still the same," she laughed.

Children swimming in the Mediteranean

Eleni had a long exchange in Greek with a woman working there who proceeded to dab holy water on the of foreheads of each child. Eleni explained to me that she told the woman that we did not believe in holy water but the woman insisted that the miracles that followed it's application would make is believe. She then explained to Ari that he must now behave like an angel.

We came home and I took Sasha and Ari to Kantouni beach, which is the kids favorite beach because it has the biggest waves. Ari has become quite the lover of frolicking in the waves. I usually stand on the beach and watch the kids like an eagle because I read an article about the increase in mortality rates from relatively tiny delays in responses by distracted lifeguards. If they go too far out I wade in and if the waves are high enough I go all the way out to where the kids are.

As soon as we got to the beach, as part of my continuing effort to have my father of the year award rebooked before my other children find out that Ari awarded it to me and roast him on a spit over a raging fire, I realized that while I sun-screened Ari in the morning, I didn't bother with the area under his t-shirt. I offered a choice of a short swim or wearing his t-shirt in the water. He chose a short swim and I promised we'd come back after lunch.

Kalymnos Monastary

For lunch we had a vegetable stew with eggplant, zucchini, potato, tomato, and herbs (most of which was grown here), shrimp, goat (also raised here), salad, bread, and watermelon. Sasha doesn't eat goat or shrimp so he got chicken nuggets. Ari ate potato, shrimp, potato, and bread, making his meal consist of perhaps four of the five things not grown by our hosts.

After lunch I talked to Andrea on Skype and Ari had some screentime with Sasha. I took a twenty minute nap and woke up to go listen to Ari's Greek lesson. I'm very proud of both how attentive he is and the amazing progress he's making as a result. In the last few days he's covered past and present tense conjugation and a ton of vocabulary. Eleni is very impressed with his ability to read Greek, which I have learned is far more difficult than it appears. For example, there are for letters and three letter combinations that make the sound "ee."

When the Greek lesson was over it was almost eight o'clock. The family wanted us to come with them to a concert followed by a movie in an open air theater but Ari and Sasha wanted to go back to the beach so, honoring my promise, I took them for a swim.

Shortly after we returned the family did too; they skipped the movie because Vasilis was feeling sick.  Vasilis went to bed while the rest of us sat in the yard and talked. Ari announced that he was hungry. I made peanut butter and jam for myself, Ari, and Sasha.

Aside from Ari and myself nobody had tried peanut butter, so the jar was passed around and declared delicious by everyone. I have promised Eleni a recipe for peanut butter cookies. Eleni served some sort of dessert with three layers that seemed to me similar to a Graham cracker/cream cheese crust, flan, and a very cherry jello.

We sat talking while the kids played chess. once Sasha's mom called him to bed Ari got bored enough to ask me to play. We started playing, but to make it fair, he was not allowed to look at the board; he had to remember the positions and call out his moves. Our hostest was so amazed at this that she began testing Ari's memory, hiding objects and asking him to remember which objects she hid where. This morphed into games of memory (remembering progressively longer lists of animals) and attention (find the killer who winks at other players to kill them).

This week, hanging or with Eleni, Gianis and their friends and family, I've had the joy of experiencing a relaxed sense of community that Andrea and I only had in Risley (and to a lesser extent at 36 Plaza). We often fervently wish we could have that again. I wonder how much of this is possible because of how much more free time I have, because of Ari's amazing  social grace which makes everyone pleased to be with him, because of Greece's amazing xenophilia, and  how much is because I was lucky ending up at Gianis and Eleni's home.

Day 23 -- Kos

At breakfast we discussed our plans for the day. Elina and Sasha were headed for Telyndos and Vasilis was still feeling sick so our hosts suggested we go to another island for the day. I inquired about Ephsos, which Eva highly recommended but it would mean going to another island, changing ferries and would require an overnight stay. They suggested Kos and after a little research we found that we had 15 minutes to catch the ferry.

Ari and I quickly jumped in the car and Gianis drove us to the port and held the boat while I bought tickets. We got to Kos and took a taxi to the water park. In my daily attempt to have my father of the year award revoked I realized that I brought too little money with me. The ferry was 12 euros in each direction, the taxi 8, the water park 17 for me and 13 for Ari, a locker 3. No place took credit cards. I had brought 70 euros, some change, and a credit card which I thought was more than ample. Oops. I announced that lunch had to be someplace that took credit cards.

The park was relatively small compared to Cedar Point or Michigan's Adventure but had plenty to do and was almost empty so there we're no lines to wait in.

Ari frolicked in the water for hours. I went down three big slides with him and I swam a few laps to feel how much muscle mass I've lost since I stopped regular weight lifting.

Copyright Notice and Warning: The following paragraph is likely to offend people who are religious, object to chauvinism (that means you Joshua), have married me, or have a daughter who married me. Those people are prohibited from reading it.  Those who will report, hint at, repeat, or allude to the contents of the following paragraph to my wife are also prohibited from reading it. License to read the following paragraph is given to everyone else provided you immediately forget its contents and never discuss it with anyone else.

The water park was full of beautiful young (well when you're my age they are all young) females in bikinis. There was a time in my life when I would have sat mouth agape, possibly drooling, thanking God for the beauty he had bestowed upon my eyes. However, my glass half empty  wife has pointed out that perhaps it is God's way of torturing me by showing me what I am missing. Given the intense yearning I feel for my wfie, not having been apart from her for this long in well over a decade, and feeling that God must want to make sure I'm not too happy after my post about the paradise I am in yesterday, I was definitely tilting toward the God is torturing me view of the world.

OK: feminists, wives, wives relations, and people who have not yet mentally consigned me to Hell for my misogynistic thoughts may resume reading here.

At 1:30, both of us getting hungry, we headed back to town to find lunch but when we got there a ferry to Kalymnos was about to leave so we jumped on. Arriving back in Kalymnos we were down to 8 euros. We asked unsuccessfully at 7 or 89 restaurants if they'd take a credit card before we gave up and caught the bus back home where Eleni whipped us up some spaghetti Bolognese , bread, and a salad. Food never tasted so good.

After lunch we Skyped with the family, twice. The first time was fun and games but the second upset Ari greatly. I had spent part of the day thinking that I had never seen Ari so happy for such an extended period of time and seeing him reduced to tears was hard to bear.

I calmed him down a bit and the children distracted him with a game of hide and seek which I followed with a walk to the local patiserrie, where we shared baklavas and chocolate cake. Unfortunately, Ari became upset right before his Greek lesson was supposed to start so he missed one of his precious (at least to me) Greek lessons.

Finally, here I sit, exhausted, God toying with me more. To punish me for my gloat filled posts about mosquitoes, he had Ari bitten twice and sent two into my room, allowed me to kill the first and made the second escape from me by inches the last five times I tried to kill it. I may have actually gotten it on the l last go, but more likely he's hiding it to let it buzz my ear right when I am dozing off.

Day 24 -- Last Full Day in Paradise

I slept until a glorious 8:30 this morning and woke up a few minutes before Ari appeared to tell me that my eggs were getting cold.

After breakfast, sunscreening, and changing into bathing suits Eleni drove me, Ari, and Sasha to a beach a little further away than Kantouni. Ari and Sasha played in the waves while I watched them to make sure that they weren't in any trouble and built sandcastles while I watched the bikini clad girls to make sure that they weren't in any trouble. We bought drinks, caught killer ants, played catch and Ari completely soaked his shoes in seawater. Hopefully they will dry because otherwise he's completely trashed three pairs of shoes in one trip and I have no spares and no time to find new ones.

Ari asked if we could go to a taverna for lunch and I explained that we were going to eat with the family.  Much to my surprise, he told me that he really wanted to go because he would miss Greek food and that he wanted me to learn to make it, especially tzatziki and stifado. I think his enthusiasm for Greek food is in part because he has been so happy here that it has intensely good associations for him. I hope that I can help him preserve some of the memories into his adult life.

Eleni picked us up and brought us home for a lunch of lemon garlic chicken, mashed potato, corn, green salad, beet salad, and watermelon. On the drive back, she said that she'd been reading my posts. She wondered why I hadn't mentioned the bikini clad girls in Kos to her yesterday and went on to say that Andrea must really trust me because there was no way that she'd trust her husband for two weeks alone. I pointed out that perhaps it wasn't trust, but a desire to be rid of me that motivated her. I didn't point it out, but perhaps Andrea just realizes that I'm unlikely to be attractive to Greek (or any other) girls.

After lunch Ari did his Greek homework and we worked on battleship. The progress is slow but we've now had the computer place its ships (though we haven't yet made sure that they aren't placed on top of each other).

After battleship it was time for a Greek lesson which was immediately followed by a trip to the beach, the pool, and the beach again with Sasha and Elina. Elina and I sat on the beach and then by the pool watching the kids, enjoying the sunset, and sipping fresh squeezed orange juice.

When we returned home Ari told me again how much he has enjoyed Greece and that he would miss it. These declarations were clearly heartfelt. I  told him that if he continued studying Greek I would find a way to get him to visit again.

Eleni and Giannis made a feast in honor of our departure. Souvlaki, both chicken and pork, cooked outside on the grill, served with pita, tsatsiki, tomato, and potato.  The kids played soccer until the meal was ready. We had music, talked, and ate until we we're stuffed. Eleni gave me the recipe for tsatsiki but couldn't come up with the word for vinegar. She kept saying it came from graves when she meant grapes. We had a good laugh when we figured it out.

Then Eleni brought out dessert, whipped cream with banana on a layer of chocolate, topped with dark chocolate shavings.

Ari went to bed at 11 something but when I followed him in I made him brush his teeth so he was up a bit later. while falling asleep he moaned and said that a mosquito was buzzing around his ear, so I stayed up writing this and guarding him until I killed a mosquito. I hope it is the only one.

Day 25 -- Off to London

After last night's festivities Ari and I both slept in until 9:00. Breakfast included yogurt with home made fog spoon fruit.

I packed while Ari played video games. When I was mostly finished Ari and I went to a local taverna so that I could keep my promise of one more Greek meal. We choose one that was close by and almost always empty. Wasn't the best tsatsiki and salad we'd had but it sufficed.

So once again told me how much he was going to miss Greece. I wonder if he will continue to learn Greek and really apply himself. I fear his desire to continue and matter it will soon be forgotten because children forget that which is not immediate.

We returned home, finished packing, printed boarding passes, and said goodbye to Sasha and Elina.  The family gifted Ari with a book of Aesop's fables in Greek that they think he will be able to read and understand in a year. Eleni gave me gifts for Andrea and a "dad of the year" certificate that she and Giannis signed to hang on my wall. Eleni and Ari talked about learning more Greek via Skype.

Eleni, Vasilis, and Irini drove us to the airport. They waited in the terminal with us until we boarded. We talked about Greek and English and the vacation. I once again invited Vasilis and Irini to visit us in Michigan to learn some English, though with what they have heard about Michigan mosquitoes they probably fear death by blood loss. Facebook posts from my wife about grey clouds of mosquitoes don't help much. Given the size of Kalymnos spiders I'm not sure who has it worse, us or them.

Giannis wanted to make it home from work early to see us off. He didn't make it in time but got to the airport on his motorcycle in time to join the family outside the fence around the runway  and wave to us as we boarded the plane. We could see them following the plane down the runway, on the road that runs parallel, from the airplane window as we took off.

We ate our third meal of the day in the Athens airport where we had three hours to kill. Sushi for Ari and curry chicken noodles for me. It was airport food. We ambled to the gate and sat in the deserted lounge. There were no lines anywhere which was both unexpected and incredibly pleasant. When the empty lounge failed to fill I looked at the screen and found guest they had changed our gate. We hustled over to the new gate and waited. At boarding time they announced a delay die to mechanical issues. More news in an hour they said. After the first hour, they announced more news in another hour. I kept running out to try to message Will, who was expecting us at his London flat because the internet at the airport was horrible and at the gate nonexistent.

Finally, when the second hour was over they announced that they were boarding immediately. We had our fourth meal of the day on the plane; it made me nostalgic for the airport food, though perhaps that was because I was less hungry.

We had an uneventful flight thereafter, followed by baggage claim and immigration. The officer was skeptical of my two night stay and asked a few questions. He snorted when I  told him we'd been in Greece foot a month. Repeated "A month?" in a gone dropping with disapproval and stamped our passports. I didn't stay to argue about whatever  assumptions her made about us.

By the time we arrived at Will's it was 12:30. Ari fell asleep on the floor.

Day 27 and 28 Heading Home

Day 27

In the morning we walked to breakfast, past a coffee shop that had a sign "Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love" to a place called The Early Bird. I told Ari to think about it from the perspective of the worm; sometimes it pays to sleep in.

We packed, made it to the airport in plenty of time, breezed through another airport that managed to keep security lines short, making me wonder why that can't be done in the U.S., flew from London to Athens with only an hour delay, and managed to catch the last shuttle to the hotel.

When Ari was really little I had the horrible experience of traveling with him on a trip from Hawaii to Detroit while he had an ear infection. He was about 18 months old, in a car seat, and very upset. The airline did not seat us all together. I was between Ari and Joshua while Andrea was seated 3 rows behind us. I explained the situation and asked the man seated on the other side of Ari if he would swap seats with Andrea. He refused. A few minutes later he asked, "Is he going to cry like this the whole flight?"

"I don't know," I replied, "I've never flown with an 18 month old with an ear infection before."

That whole debacle was brought back to my memory because Ari began complaining of ear pain in the morning and then on the plane Ari complained that his earache was getting worse. At the hotel he told me it was much worse, "It feels sort of like it's burning." I gave him Advil fort the pain and sudafed to try to clear the eustachian tubes. I decided to let him sleep in rather than run out to see more sights in the morning. I really think I need a Z-pack but the idea of trying to get one seems daunting and it wouldn't start working in time for the flights.

So, that's  where I am now, at the end of a fabulous adventure, lying in bed writing this this while Ari is still asleep, wondering what to do about his ear before we get back on the airport shuttle and begin the long trip back through Frankfurt and Chicago, arriving in Detroit at almost midnight the next day. We'll just stay in an airport hotel once we arrive instead of trying to get home that night.

Day 28

I woke up before 7 but Ari slept until 9:30, when my rummaging through the suitcases woke him. We went looking for breakfast and found that walking to breakfast was not an option so it was the hotel restaurant for us. I walked in to find a breakfast buffet.  I was pleasantly surprised that the greeter just asked for our room number. After the hotel tried to charge 9 euros for internet access, something no other hotel in Greece had done, I was expecting them to offer me a choice of overpriced breakfasts but instead, it looked like breakfast was included like it was in every other place we'd stayed.

Unfortunately, at checkout they had added 17 euros to my bill. I objected to not being informed of the price on advance and the clerk pretended not to really understand my objection. Once I was in the airport, where Wi-Fi was free, I wrote to the hotel, Holiday Inn, and put negative reviews on hotels.com and trip advisor.

On the first leg of or flight, when the time came for Ari's next dose of medicine he happily informed me that  his ear no longer hurt. My relief was palpable.

I really enjoyed this trip immensely, and more importantly I have never seen Ari so happy for such an extended period of time nor have I witnessed him growing so fast intellectually or emotionally, though perhaps noticing both of those things is an effect of being able to pay so much attention to him. I didn't manage to take my backlog of programming projects, learn jQuery, or write the novel that I have wanted to write since freshman year, but none of that is truly important.

Thanks to everyone who read this for putting up with ramblings that were sometimes done with one or two individuals in mind. Join  us on the next big language and culture learning adventure three years from now when we head to China.